Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

I needed this verse. Way back at the very beginning of training I was talking to a girl about the bitterness I had in my heart towards a person that had hurt my feelings and my family’s. I’ve grown to recognize that bitterness and grudge-holding is really something I struggle with. I just let the smallest things done against me take control of me and I don’t walk in forgiveness. I’ve sinned so much, I’ve failed so many people and God in so many ways and I’ve always been forgiven for it. Yet for some reason I feel like it’s somehow “right” when someone sins against me to hold it against them.  Like I’m entitled to my anger. Even righteous godly anger, the devil grabs hold of and it quickly dissolves into self righteous anger.

Often enough I think I’ve been able to get past this sin yet it keeps coming back in different forms. To not forgive others is to not accept the forgiveness Christ has offered me. I can only do this with His strength.  Gentleness of spirit isn’t something I’m good at.

I was recently convicted of holding a grudge against one of my family members.  This isn’t right. The only person that this really hurts in the end is me. It’s detrimental to my personal relationship with the Lord and to my mental state in general.  I need to be able to move on and not let the offenses of others move me. Forgive and forget.

Application: I will write these persons an email apologizing for what I’ve done, to move on from it and to work it out and build a better relationship with them.